(#192)
Question
Assalamualaikumwarahmatullaihiwabarakatuh, What are the Children’s right over their parents and vice versa.
Answer
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته
حامدا و مصليا و مسلما
Muhtaram
We have received your query regarding the rights of parents and children, we apologise for the belated reply, our response is as follows:
Great emphasis has been placed in the Noble Qur’an and Ahadeeth regarding the respect which the parents demand. Thus, it is the duty and responsibility of children that they love, obey, respect and honour their parents while they are alive. After the demise of ones parents a person should continue to make Dua and Isaal-e-Thawaab for them and keep good relations with the friends and associates of their parents.
Allah Ta’ala states in the Noble Qur’an:
And we have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to me and to your parents; to me is the [final] destination. [14:31]
There are multiple places in the Noble Qur’an in which great stress has been placed on respecting ones parents. To such an extent, if ones parents are non-Muslim, then too, one is not permitted to ill-treat them.
Hadrat Asma Radhiyallahu Anha the sister-in-law of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam, asked him about her mother, an idolater, who had come to visit her in Madinah: “Should I keep (good) ties with her?” Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam replied: “Keep (good) ties with her.” [1]
Furthermore, if ones parents are struggling financially then the children (who are financially able) are required to assist their parents. The above is a broad guideline of the rights of the parents.
With regards to the rights of children, Hadrat Hakeemul Ummat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi rahimahullah narrated: “ Once during the time of Ameerul Mu’mineen Umar radiyallahu anhu, a father came to the state court and lodged a complaint against his son, “He does not uphold my rights.” Umar radiyallahu anhu summoned and asked the son for an explanation. The son replied, “O Ameerul Mu’mineen! Is it only the father who has rights over his children or do they enjoy any huqooqs over him? Hadrat Umar radiyallahu anhu replied,
“Undoubtedly, children too have rights.” The son requested, “Would you kindly inform us what these huqooqs are? Umar radiyallahu anhu replied, “Their rights are:
- To choose a noble lady as mother for one’s children.
- When the child is born, to choose a good Islamic name for blessings.
- When children begin to understand; to adorn them with Deeni Ilm and good manners.’
The son commented, “ My father has failed to fulfil a single one of these huqooqs. Firstly, he chose and married a lewd women for my mother; secondly, he names me Jo’al (a revolting name meaning faeces ‘bug’); thirdly, he failed to teach me a single letter or Command of Deen! ‘Hearing this reply, ‘Umar radiyallahu anhu became infuriated at the father and threw his case out saying,
“Tyrant! First of all address your own shortcomings and thereafter come and complain about your son!
In reality, you have committed greater wrong and injustice. Go, never ever behave in such a manner with one’s children!”[2]
For more details on the above, please refer to the Kitab “Ashrafs blessing of marriage”
And Allah Ta’ala knows best
Answered by:
Muhammad Irshad Motara
21st Jumudal Ukhra 1445
2nd January 2024
[1] Ahkamul Quran: 9/52) from Darul Ifta Azaadville archives.
[2] Ashrafs blessing of marriage, Pg 372
