(#150)
Country: New Zealand
Question
Assalamwalekum waraḥmatullahi wa-barakatuhu, I’m really in desperate need of help and if you can help with any assistance. A little bit about my situation: I’m in my mid 30’s trying to get my nikkah with a revert Muslim. I’m the one who gave him Dawah a few years back. He’s now a good Muslim with a clean slate. However, my family had found it very difficult to accept him as my soulmate. They are only worried about the cultural side rather than the Islamic side, which I understand, but sadly, there’s no way I/he can turn our backs unless Allah swt wills. My parents are prepared to accept my nikkah moving forward in the future, although not now. Furthermore, we have spoken to a couple of shaykh in Auckland and they said because I’m born Muslima, I need my wali’s permission for them to pursue our nikkah. One of the Shaykhs has also contacted my father to convince him, but he’s very adamant with his decision and didn’t talk much to the Shaykh. And then the Shaykh has asked me to approach a scholar. It’s been 7 years since we have been trying to get our nikkah done, but unfortunately things are getting delayed and pushed back with no resolution. I cry everyday and ask Allah swt to help me come out of this. Please please please put me in the right direction. Jazak’allahu Khair
Answer
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته
حامدا و مصليا و مسلما
Muhtaramah
We have received your query dated 04/08/2022, our response is as follows:
Allah Ta’aala alone is the Being who has created us from non-existence. Likewise, for our existence we are totally dependent on Allah Ta’aala. It is only by Allah’s grace that we breathe, our hearts pump, our lungs inhale and exhale, we see, talk, hear and do everything else. We have to be grateful to Allah Ta’aala for all that He has given us. In difficult times our attention must go to Allah Ta’ala and we must realise that every situation is a test from Allah Ta’ala and that He is watching our reaction to His tests. We should therefore turn to Allah Ta’ala seeking His assistance and persevere patiently. If a person looks at a person who is worse-of then it will be very easy to make sabr in difficulty; in fact a person will make shukr that they were not tested with something worse.
We have read through your submission and sympathise with you in your predicament. We urge you to turn back to Allah Ta’ala and sincerely repent from any impermissible contact with this person in the past. We need to keep in mind that Shari’ah has prohibited intimate contact with a non-mahram i.e. who is not prohibited for you to marry. Pre-marital relationships have disastrous effects after marriage and also in the Akhirat.
Marriage is a major step in one’s life, therefore take the Dua’s and advise of your parents. Your parents have love for you and are concerned for your future. Therefore, we advise you that if you truly intend marrying this person, then you should continue to discuss the matter with your parents and making Dua. Inshallah, by adopting the correct method of marriage, both of you will be saved from sin and Allah Ta’ala will put blessings in your marriage. You may also discuss the issue with some senior members of your family to intercede to your parents (if necessary) on your behalf.
Finally, with regards to your question concerning marriage without the consent of a Wali, according to the Hanafi Mazhab, if the Nikaah is contracted by a mature lady with such a man who is her Kuf’ (of equal stature to her in terms of the Shari’ah) without the permission of the Wali, the Nikaah will be valid. [1]
If a Nikah is done out of Kafa’ah i.e. someone who is not equal stature to her in terms of the Shari’ah, without the consent of the girl’s Wali, then in reality the nikah is not correct and it will not be permissible for the couple to live together.[2]
With regards to your situation, a man who is a Muslim however his father is a Kaafir will not be Kufu (compatible-and thus not correct) with a woman who is a Muslimah and her father is a Muslim. Furthermore, the man who is a Muslim, his father is also a Muslim, but his grandfather was a Kaafir, cannot be equal to a woman whose father and grandfather are Muslim. Thus, if the boy’s parents/grandparents are non-Muslim then he will not be compatible with you (assuming your parents/grandparents are Muslims) and you will need the permission of your parents.[3]
Therefore, continue to make Dua to Allah Ta’ala and inshallah Allah Ta’ala will bring Khair (goodness) in your life.
And Allah Ta’ala knows best
Answered by:
Muhammad Irshad Motara
17th Muharram 1444
16th August 2022
Checked and approved by:
(Mufti) Musayyab Sahib
17th Muharram 1444
16th August 2022
[1] Raddul Muhtaar vol.3 pg.56, H.M. Saeed,
[2] Fatawa Mahmoodiyyah (Farooqiyah) vol.11 Pg. 617. Ahsanul Fatawa VL 5, pg. 96.
[3] Fatawa Mahmoodiyah- Vl 11, pg. 651-Farooqiyah