Question
(#242)
Àsalam Alaykum how are you doing ? My question is , if I met a sister and I want to get to know her for marriage by talking to her in the presence of my parents , is it Haram if this is for a little bit of time without the knowledge of her parents being aware . Please address this issue .
Answer
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته
حامدا و مصليا و مسلما
Muhtaram
We have received your query regarding pre-marital communication, our response is as follows:
Mashallah it is a sign of your Iman that you are desirous to stay away from Haraam.
Speaking and communicating with the opposite gender albeit an envisaged spouse or marriage partner over the telephone, or any other social media platform etc in order to try and see if they are compatible for marriage is strictly prohibited in Shariah.
Allah Ta’ala has given us a warning in the Noble Qur’an by saying:
“وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا“
And do not go even close to fornication. It is indeed a shameful act and an evil way to follow”. (17:32)
In this Ayat, Allah Ta’ala did not just say “Do not fornicate”, but He said, “do not even go close to it”, meaning do not do things which may lead to adultery or fornication as Shaitan is quick to mislead the believers.
If both of you desire to ask each other questions, this can be done through the means of other family members. For example, one can indirectly ask the girl questions by asking her male relatives, like her father and brothers. Likewise, one’s own female relatives can speak to the girl directly. The girl should also adopt a similar procedure. [1]
This is the prescribed method of Shariah which a Muslim should abide by and not turn towards any alien way of pre-marital interaction and communication which totally deprives a person of a sound and healthy marriage right from the beginning by involvement in Haraam prior to the sacred bond of marriage.
And Allah Ta’ala knows best
Answered by:
Muhammad Irshad Motara
18th Ramadan 1446
17th March 2025
[1] اعلاء السنن: ج ١٧، ص ٣٧٩
رد المحتار: ص ٣٦٩، ج ٦
أحسن الفتاوى: ص ٥٢، ج ٨
