Question
(#247)
If the husband loves his wife so much extremely and is so much in love with her but in return she doesn’t appreciate his love and is very disloyal towards and may even think his love is of no value , how should the husband handle such a wife without getting angry and getting bad feelings to desire becoming confrontational and argumentative ? And how should the husband handle a wife that may say things that within what is being said means something very disloyal towards the husband ? If the husband extremely desires and feels he needs his wife to love him very much but she doesn’t , then how should the man handle such a wife without fighting with her ? How can the man not get emotional about that ?
Answer
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته
حامدا و مصليا و مسلما
Muhtaram
We have received your query regarding the relationship with ones spouse, our response is as follows:
A strong bond between a husband and wife is an extremely great blessing of Allah Ta’ala.
Allah Ta’āla says:
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
[الروم: ٢١]
Translation: And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect (Rum 21).
It is only Allah Ta’ala that places love in the hearts of people. If we turn to Allah Ta’ala in obedience and Dua then Allah Ta’ala will solve ones problems.
We need to also keep in mind that each person expresses their love in different ways. Your wife may be expressing her love for you in a way that is contrary to your expectations.
Follow the sublime way of Nabi Sallallahu alai wa sallam and how he treated his honourable wives and ignore all whisperings of Shaytan. Show her love and affection and fulfil her rights. Exercise Sabr (patience) whenever anything inappropriate is said and always restrain the tongue.
Constantly recite the following Duas as well:
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
“Oh our lord! Grant us in our spouses and our children the joy of our eyes. Moreover, make us an exemplar of goodness for the God-fearing.” [الفرقان: 74]
And recite ‘Yaa Wadood’ in abundance.
And Allah Ta’ala knows best
Answered by:
Muhammad Irshad Motara
28th Shawwal 1446
26th April 2025
